A Better Family
by bohogirl
Summary: Angel loses someone she used to be close to.


**Title: A Better Family  
Author: Jen  
Feedback: I love it sooo much!  
Pairing: Angel/Collins, mentions of other pairings  
Word Count: 2714  
Rating: R (they have the sex though I'm not every descriptive I'm being safe)  
Genre: Angsty  
Summary: Angel loses someone he used to be close to  
Notes: Angel's sister and father make an appearance. Hope it's not too much to disqualify it.  
Special Thanks: lj user"shillaire" for "chatting" with me through comments while I typed this!  
Spoilers: None really  
Warnings: None really  
Disclaimer: Jonathan Larson was a God among men and he wrote Rent. I'm borrowing it.**

Collins was barely a foot inside his apartment, when he noticed something was wrong. Usually Angel bounded in, running like no man inheels should and then jumping into her lover's arms, chatting excitedly about everything she'd done that day. When no Angel greeted him, an alarm went off in Collins' mind. "Angel? Ang, baby, I'm home!"

He wandered through the small apartment, hoping to find some sign Angel was just out with Mimi or Mark or over at the loft bothering Roger like she usually did. "Angel?"

Panic set in. Collins heart start pounding in his chest and he was ready to run over to loft to see if something had happened while he was at school. He opened the bedroom door and spotted Angel lying in bed. His relief quickly turned to panic when he saw that his lover was curled up under three blankets, shaking, her eyes red with tears. "Baby, sweetie, what's wrong?" Collins asked as he flew to Angel's side, kneeling on the floor and gently wiping away the tears.

Angel looked up, her blood shot eyes locking with Collins. "She's gone," she whispered. "I...she's gone. I never...I never told her that I..." Another wave of sobs swept through and Angel's thin body began to shake again.

Collins crawled into bed and pulled Angel into his arms. "Relax, baby. Let it out then tell me. Shh." he whispered soothingly, hoping Angel had just gotten over emotional about a television show or some newspaper article like she occasionally did.

Several minutes passed before Angel's sobs subsided. He sat up and wiped away the few remaining tears. "I must look horrible," she muttered, averting her gaze from Collins' concerned face.

"Hey..." Collins reached out and placed two fingers under Angel's chin, lifting his young lover's head up so their eyes met. "You look like my Angel and that's all that matters. Now tell me, baby, what happened."

Angel sniffled a few times before handing over a letter that Collins had failed to notice sitting on the other side of the bed. "My...my mother she...she died." A fresh tear escaped out of the corner of Angel's eye. "I...I haven't seen or...or heard from her in...in years. I...I wish I could tell her I...I'm sorry and that..." She struggled not to break out into a new wave of sobs.

Collins took the letter from Angel's hand. He turned over the envelope and saw the postmark. Baltimore. Turning his attention to the letter, he scanned the page quickly. It was from Angel's father. From the terse wording, Collins got the idea that Angel and her parents didn't part on good terms. The letter was succinct, to the point, intended only to inform Angel of her mother's passing and held no news about the rest of her family. He also suspected that her family didn't know how she chose to live her life now; as a woman and not the boy they'd raised.

"'The funeral is May 12th at noon at our church. Be there if you wish but we won't be expecting you,'" Collins read. "Oh, Angel. I'm so sorry, baby." He gently ran his thumb down Angel's cheek before leaning in and giving her several gentle kisses, pulling her to his chest as he lightly ran his hand along her arm.. "I'm sure she knows you love her and..."

"Will you go with me?" Angel asked, her dark eyes locking with Collins.

"What?"

"Will you go with me? To the funeral."

Collins gazed into Angel's eyes, looking for any sign of doubt about what she wanted to do but there was none. He should've known better. Angel rarely doubt her actions, not worrying about what might happen as a result of something she did. "If you're sure you want to go, baby, I'll be right by your side."

Angel placed kisses all along Collins' cheeks, forehead, chin, nose, mouth, making sure not to miss an inch of the dark skin she loved so much. "Thank you, baby. Thank you. I love you so much."

"Hey, you know I'd do anything for you." Collins smiled and pressed his forehead against Angel's. "I love you."

A few days later, Collins found himself standing nervously just outside of a small church just a few miles from Baltimore. He'd gotten an old suit out of storage and sprung for dry cleaning.

Angel had struggled a bit, not having anything appropriate for a funeral as a man or a woman. She'd ended up borrowing a suit from Mark. It was a little baggy on her at first, especially in the arms and around the waist but a tailor friend of Mimi's helped take it so it would fit, but she felt very uncomfortable and out of sorts in the itchy fabric. "We should go in, I guess," she said quietly, her eyes traveling to the main doors of the church.

Collins pushed his nerves down. He had to be strong for Angel today. "Hey, it'll be ok," he said, gently rubbing his lover's arms. "Just remember why you're here." He leaned in and gave Angel a soft kiss. "And I'm right next you."

Angel slipped her hand into Collins' and the pair silently walked into the church. No one seemed to notice them so they stuck as close together as they could.

A young woman, resembling Angel slightly, especially when she was dressed up, started towards them. "Angel?" she asked. "Is...is that you?"

A small smile fell across Angel's face. "Cara?"

"Oh it is! My baby brother, looking so handsome." The woman wrapped her arms around Angel and hugged her. "I was hoping you'd come. Dad said you probably wouldn't."

"I had to come," Angel whispered in her ear.

The woman pulled back and noticed Collins standing nervously beside them. "Who is this?"

"Cara, this is Collins. Collins, this is Cara my sister." Angel brushed the back of her hand against Collins' but didn't grab it.

Collins nervously wiped his sweaty palm on his pants. "It's nice to meet you," he said, holding out his hand.

Cara eyed him for a moment before shaking his hand. "Same here. Look, Angel, just...be on the look out for Dad. I don't know how he'd take you being here let alone how he'd react seeing you brought someone. I have to go talk to some more people." She leaned in and gave Angel a quick kiss on her cheek. "I'm so glad you're here."

Angel's hand crept it's way back into Collins' as soon as her sister was gone. "That went better then expected," she whispered, pressing her body as close to Collins' as she dared. "I'm sorry about her."

"Don't worry, baby. We're here for you and not me." Collins lightly rubbed the back of Angel's neck. "Do you want to go see her?"

Angel nodded and as the pair walked silently towards the coffin, her body tensed. Collins gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"It's ok, baby..."

Angel let go of Collins hand and stepped up to the coffin. She gazed down at her mother's face, as kind and sweet as she remembered. She remembered her arms around her as a boy who would come home after school excited and later as a young man being pushed away by the same arms when he told his mother he was gay. She gripped the edge of the coffin, her knuckles turning white as she struggled not to cry.

Collins appeared behind and rested his hand on the small of his lover's back. "It's ok, Angel," he whispered. "Come on." He carefully let Angel away from the coffin ashis young loverstruggled not to cry.

"Angel. You...you came."

Collins looked over and saw an older man who resembled Angel in many ways standing awkwardly just a few feet away. Angel tightly gripped at the waist of Collins' pants.

"Yeah. I came."

"Didn't think you would." The man who Collins only could assume was Angel's father, took a step closer. "Who is this? Did you...did you bring that lifestyle of yours here?"

"Can we not do this here, Dad?" Cara said, appearing behind her father. "Not in front of everyone."

"I'm doing this here. If he thinks he can waltz back into this family and bring his damn...whatever those people call each other with him, he's got another thing coming."

Collins moved to give Angel's father a piece of his mind but Angel stopped him.

"I'm not waltzing back in. I'm here to bury my mother and then I'm gone. You won't have to see my face again. And as for him. He's my boyfriend. I love him more than anyone and he loves me too. Unconditionally. Unlike you, he likes me for me. Dressed like the proper son of a cop or dressed in those clothes you used to buy for Cara because yes, I prefer women's clothing. I don't have family here anymore. As far as I'm concerned, my family is back in New York. With Collins. With Joanne and Maureen. Oh, you'd love them. They're lesbians, you know. And Mimi, she's a stripper. Roger, well, he just got out of rehab. You know what you'd love about them? They both have AIDS." Angel, who moments before was practically shaking at Collins side was now standing up straight, her eyes darker than Collins had ever seen them. Angel never got angry, not like this. "I'm going now. I'll take my boyfriend with me and we'll go live in sin in New York together."

By now a crowd had gathered. For many of the people, this was the first time they'd seen Angel in years and none were used to the strong, young man before them.

Angel reached out and took Collins hand. "I did what I came here to do. To see my mother."

"Get out," her father seethed.

"Don't worry." Angel headed out of the room, Collins right beside her. In the archway of the door, Angel turned. "One more thing, i Dad /i . Collins has AIDS too. And so do I. I'm dying. So you won't have to worry about seeing me again." She turned on her heel and stormed out of the church, Collins following quickly behind her.

Outside, Angel leaned against the church wall, struggling to let go of her anger. "I can't believe I did that," she whispered.

Collins wrapped his arms around Angel and gently rubbed her back. "Neither can I but I think he needed to hear it." He pulled back and gently kissed his lover's forehead. "Let's go back to the hotel. We have it for the night."

Angel nodded and slipped her arm around Collins' waist as the pair headed over to their rental car. "I hope I didn't worry you. Saying I was dying."

Collins tightened his grip on Angel's shoulder. "You did a bit, I suppose. Guess 'cause I don't want to admit that as much as we live, we're actually dying but...he needed to hear that word I think. To drive it home." As they approached the car, Collins could feel the tension in Angel's back. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I'll fine." Angel looked up and smiled when she met the warm loving eyes of her lover. "Let's go back to the room," she whispered, her arms snaking around Collins' waist. "You know, I've never had sex in a hotel room before."

"Oh?" Collin said, raising an eyebrow. "So I have devirginize you of this don't I?" He chuckled and leaned over, catching Angel's lips with his in soft, slow kiss.

"Yes you do. And I brought that little tight, black number you like. You know, the dress I made out the old leather jacket and the bed sheet."

Collins groaned at thought and quickly got them both into the car. On the drive over, Angel practically crawled into his lap, making for an interesting drive to the hotel room.

The pair collapsed on their hotel bed, lips, hands, clothing going in every direction as they both worked to rid each other of the fabric covering their bodies.

"I thought you wanted to see me in that dress," Angel panted against Collins' lips.

"Quick, baby." Collins rolled off Angel and watched as she sprinted over to the suitcase and pulled out the black dress.

An evil grin crossed Angel's face as she leaned over and gave Collins a quick kiss. "I'll be right back. Do not go anywhere."

Collins groaned and rolled onto his stomach as Angel ran into the bathroom. He quickly shed his pants and tossed them on the floor with the rest of the clothing, hoping Angel would be quick.

What seemed like hours later, Angel emerged dressed in a skin tight leather shirt and an almost see-thru black top. Not one to do things half-way, Angel's favorite, dark bob wig was settled on top of her head. "I'm ready."

"Get over here, then." Collins chuckled as Angel straddled his legs. "You put this on and now I want to just rip it off."

Angel giggled. "Dirty, dirty man." She leaned over and kissed Collins hungrily, the strands of her wig tickling her lover's cheek before pulling away. "You do know you're my only family right? You and everyone back waiting for us?" her voice turning serious, almost as though she needed to be reassured before continuing.

Collins reached up and lightly touched Angel's cheek. "I know that, baby. And I'm honored. And you're my family too."

The pair shared a sweet kiss which quickly intensified as their passion rose again. Collins slowly and carefully peeled the dress away from Angel's body, exposing the beautiful body beneath. As much as Collins adored seeing Angel dressed up like the beautiful woman that she could be, and how special he felt knowing Angel was all his, there was something even more special about what was underneath. Beyond all the clothing there was a beautiful, yet simple creature, wholly human and such an opposite of the exterior she normally presented.

They made love loudly and intensely, enjoying their pleasure like they couldn't in the thin walls of their apartment, knowing that even if the people in the room next to them heard, they were leaving the next day and didn't have to deal with complaints. Collins tightly gripped Angel's waist, surely marring the beautiful skin but too caught up in the passion to notice.

Afterwards, when Collins had pulled out of Angel, they lay in each other's arms, simply enjoying each other's company. Collins lightly rubbed the bruising skin on Angel's hip. "I'm sorry I did that to you."

"That just means I'm yours," Angel said, pressing her body closer to Collins. She sighed and caught Collins' hand with hers. "Baby, promise me my funeral won't be like that. People shouting and screaming at each other."

Collins tensed a bit at the mention of Angel's funeral. He didn't like to think Angel would die before him though it seemed to be going that way. Angel had always had the strongest spirit of all of them but was the weakest health wise. He sighed then adjusted himself so their eyes met. "I promise. And if people start up anyways, I'll give them a piece of my mind." He pressed a light kiss Angel's forehead, then her eye lids, then her nose and cheeks. "But let's not talk about that now. We should get something to eat. Go get dressed. And please tell me you have more than Mark's old suit and that black dress."

Angel chuckled. "Yes. Remember what I wore at the Life that day a few weeks ago? I brought that."

"Perfect. You go get all prettified, I'll get dressed, and then you'll show me around your hometown."

Angel squealed and hopped off the bed. She grabbed the outfit and flew into the bathroom, leaving Collins lying on the bed, smiling up at the ceiling. Angel had lost her mother and the rest of her family for being who she was, but that same person had earn her something better, a family that loved her no matter what and would love her at long as they lived.


End file.
